Walking to the bus stop wearing the cutest mini skirt with tights, a long jumper and denim jacket makeup all on fleek. You’re in your frame of mind, Issues by Julia Michaels is playing through your headphones. A car horn beeps loudly and repeatedly for you to look up and get stared at, the car slows down so the lads can take a good look . Has this happened to you?
Well to me and many of my friends. It is a frequent thing that happens whatever they’re wearing.
But when you get car horns beeping for your attention my first initial reaction was to look up pull my skirt down. I feel I was showing too much skin.. (baring in mind I was wearing tights)
Mind my language but it’s f***ing disgusting how I can feel pretty and a little sexy, before i step out of the door from my family house. But one car horn beep on the road for my attention or one look from a stranger in the street makes me think what I’m wearing is too provocative. It’s something I’ve always known to be around me.
This blog is a long blog about how I feel within reason of getting attention. I don’t mind the attention, it makes me happy. It boosts our ego right?!
But sometimes when I read articles to say dress for your man, dress to please others. Why do I have to please others? What’s the need, because the lad down the street looks at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable is going to make me not wear the things I like?? NO it shouldn’t and it’s stupid that society for girls is still like this.
Wolf whistling, telling girls to come over (has that really ever worked) any little bit of skin showing. SOME guys or even men take it as an opportunity to perv and make girls and women feel like s***. Before I left home my mum said “make sure your skirt doesn’t lift up“. I wouldn’t go out intentionally to pull my skirt higher, I don’t wear fashion to please other people I wear fashion for me. If it’s a plus size model wearing what I wore or whoever it would still be the same.
Even at work I feel many men ask me any question so they can perv.. from even walking to the bus station just to get to university I know there are eyes on me, I know there thinking about either how short my skirt is or whatever. It makes me laugh and think that everything I wear I have to think what is appropriate. Many people wear shorter things on nights out, but “that’s different”. I feel I have to please society, I feel I have to please everyone but myself first. Sometimes it’s just a nice smile but I can’t even wear a short skirt with tights without getting looked at.
Yet I’m not complaining about attention like I said before it feels nice sometimes when a cute barista guy smiles at you whilst to ask for a coffee. Or walking down the city centre shops and a cute guy bites his lip. But there’s a line that SOME men cross.
There is a way society deems girls to have to be, feminist or not whatever label you as a woman or a young girl have put yourself in. You DO NOT EVER need to please anyone else. I have learnt from a very young age that looks aren’t everything, but the media states otherwise. Relationships today are over the phone, they’re texting boys, not men. Girls and guys alike are using social media platforms to build upon a relationship that can be broken down by a like from a girl in his class who has a boyfriend. The amount of s*** I see on Facebook of my friends in and out of relationships, posting photos of their bodies and setting it as their profile photo for ANYONE to look at is the problem. Social media is something that is now out of anyone’s control, revenge porn is on the rise with 1 in 5 girls sending nude photos to the guy she thinks is cute. Pleasing him with a body photo which can instantly be used against her. Guys get call lads when they’re sleeping with multiple girls at uni, create a lad point system so rank the girls on attractiveness and what they’re like in bed. If a girl sleeps with more than 2 guys they’re deemed as sluts, whores and slags. Why.. when girls and guys have the freedom to do whatever they want, university student life is the hardest. You are trying to be yourself trying to find yourself, you don’t have to be with so many guys. You don’t have to even go clubbing. This is the year where you find out who you are and what you want in life..
Be yourself at university, try an experiment if you like. You are not trying to impress anyone but make sure that you as a person in life is happy. As you are the only one that you want to impress and make sure that in life you have tried..
But.. It needs to stop, we can wear whatever we want, whenever we want. I don’t dress for anyone or to PLEASE anyone. My body and face is for me and for me to love.